resurfacing …
fara | 5/23/2005 | 11:39 pmthe past week or so was a bit of a haze/flurry.
as per the earlier post, at work – been busy with the user acceptance test (and to think 3 years ago i’ve never heard of this term, the things you have to learn when your job scope is to do everything that is required of you). so that’s one hurdle overcome – the re-test is scheduled early june.
on the home front – is another story altogether.
i wrote on this some months prior to this. circa october/november. nenek passed away on 17th may 05 – 3 days short of what would be her 75th birthday (not that i can recall us ever celebrating – come to think of it we never really knew her birthday until i was given a copy of her death cert for supporting my compassionate leave).
the first thought that crossed my mind – apart from inalillah – is that at last nenek’s at peace. if i could recall correctly, her health started to deteriorate after ayu’s wedding which was back in 2000. and we had our ups and downs since then. but the last two weeks, mama and papa have been heading back to tg malim as nenek’s condition grew worse.
honestly, i had prepared myself for such news. which may explain why the tears came a bit belated – apart from the fact that i was in the midst of facilitating our new module’s UAT and there was at least 12 client representatives there – it just wouldn’t do to break down, no?
teared up a bit when i had to explain to the room why i had to leave them in the trusty hands of ASH but the crying came on the drive home. regrets maybe?
we headed back for tg malim an hour after mama and papa left but i managed to be there during the whole ritual of ’sempurnakan jenazah’ and also managed to give nenek her final bath.
did not follow the procession to the cemetery though, not that i could’ve – kya would not let me out of her sight. she looked a bit puzzled as to why her unyang’s (great grandparents’) place is crowded with people when it used to be at most, only 2-3 families present at any time.
now it’s just atuk (+ 1 aunt and 1 cousin) at home. he’s already blacked out twice today, once after solat and once while doing chores around the house. mayhaps the reality of losing his lifelong partner had only just hit him. however, he’s yet to accept the offers from mama and my aunts/uncles for him to stay with their family. atuk was always adamant about not leaving his home. visits to our home were normally short-lived as atuk will insist to return home after a few days.
just hope everything will work out fine. atuk actually referred to himself as orang bujang(a bachelor) when making his thank you speech during the kenduri tahlil last friday. which changed the tone of the gathering from a sombre one to a light-hearted one.
for nenek – may ALLAH bless your soul. our prayers are with you. always.
